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TITLE: But What Are Your Thoughts on Ho Yay
CHARACTERS: Sheldon/Penny, ensemble
NOTES: Set in the Lifeverse sometime before "The Universe and You," so Penny and Sheldon are living together but not yet involved. I should probably just throw in the towel and write a series called "Sheldon and Penny Talk About Awesome Things." (Next up, Neil Gaiman!) Also, I'm pretty sure I stole the "There was a moment of..." line from Douglas Adams.
SUMMARY: Short. Spoilers for Star Trek XI. Utter, utter crack. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you're more concerned with the characters' sexual entanglements than with that frankly masterful performance by Leonard Nimoy — "

Outtake | The Universe and You | A Day in the Life | Life, in a Nutshell (Pt 2) (Pt 3) | Interlude | Life after Causal Relations | The Role of a Lifetime


BUT WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON HO YAY

"Consider the ramifications of Vulcan's destruction for the rest of the Federation," Sheldon said.

"Dude," Raj said. "Forget that. Consider the ramifications of giving Spock a girlfriend." He made a look of sour distaste and tossed his empty beer bottle into the trash can. "Uhura? Whose idea was that?"

Howard shrugged. "I always thought they kind of had a thing going in classic Trek. You know, there was the whole let-me-loan-you-my-Vulcan-lyre thing, and she definitely hit on him in 'The Man Trap.' At least it wasn't Nurse Chapel."

"Hey!" Leonard said. "I liked Nurse Chapel."

Sheldon scowled. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you're more concerned with the characters' sexual entanglements than with that frankly masterful performance by Leonard Nimoy — "

"Admit it, Sheldon," Leonard said, "you're just upset that Spock kissed a girl while not under the influence of mind-altering spores. What'd you think, Penny?"

Penny sucked in a breath, looked down at her ticket stub, and tucked it in her back pocket. "Oh, I don't know," she said.

"You must have an opinion," Sheldon said. "You were quite vocal during our viewings of the first six movies."

She shot him a dirty look. "Maybe that's an opinion I don't want to share, Sheldon."

"Now you have aroused my interest," Raj said, and Howard snickered.

"Well..."

"Come on, Penny." Leonard nudged her with his elbow. "I've been dying to know what you think since I heard Sheldon made you sit through The Final Frontier. I didn't know that he'd even acknowledged Final Frontier's existence."

"William Shatner's foray into directing was unfortunate," said Sheldon with asperity. "However, skipping an entire film when re-watching the original series canon is completely unacceptable. I would expect you to realize that, Leonard."

"Whatever, Sheldon," Howard said. "Come on, Penny, let's hear it."

"Fine," Penny said, and stopped.

"...We're waiting," Leonard said.

Penny took another deep breath, crossed her arms, and finally blurted, "He should have ended up with Kirk!"

There was a moment of resounding silence.

There was a moment of resounding awkwardness.

There was a moment of resounding silence.

"Penny is referring, of course, to the genre of fanfiction known as 'slash,' which involves two men or two women in a — "

"Thank you, Sheldon, I think we all know what slash is," Leonard said. "But...you, Penny? Really?"

"Well, gee," she said, and dodged a group of lounging pre-teens. "It's only glaringly obvious that they had feelings for each other. All that 'always shall be your friend' stuff wasn't fooling anybody — "

"Oh my God," Howard said, his expression one part shock and nine parts awe. "You probably read all kinds of kinky stories about pon farr, don't you?"

Penny flushed. "I'm just saying that if they were going to show Spock in a romantic relationship with anyone..." She lifted a shoulder. "You know."

"Huh," said Leonard.

Raj frowned. "I always thought Spock had more chemistry with Doctor McCoy," he said.

There was a moment of resounding silence.

Date: 2009-05-12 06:03 pm (UTC)
ext_3674: pete wisdom says, "Gotta love those happy endings." (Default)
From: [identity profile] iambickilometer.livejournal.com
I sincerely doubt they'd bring that kind of equipment to court. I mean, uniform, sure. Accessories, not so much. Why would you need a tricorder in court, anyway? Or shades, for that matter?

Date: 2009-05-12 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] awmperry.livejournal.com
You'd hope that, wouldn't you?

http://edition.cnn.com/US/fringe/9603/03-14/trek.html

http://www.trekdoc.com/synopsis.htm

I think she just decided to kit up for an away mission, which is mind-boggling in itself. But it's all true, which is... rather worrying.

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