![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
damalurbackupTITLE: Schrödinger's Cat, Chapter 1
CHARACTERS: Sheldon/Penny, future Barney/Robin
NOTES: Crossover between How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory, sort of late S2 for TBBT and early S4 for HIMYM. Really, really non-linear format. Um, future chapters to follow? I am horribly nervous about my characterization, so feedback is welcome.
SUMMARY: Sheldon, after a series of moderately traumatic occurrences possibly involving Penny and/or his dead father, moves to New York, starts undergoing therapy for Asperger syndrome and OCPD, and sort of gets adopted by the HIMYM gang. (In other words, crackfic/any excuse for a crossover!)
SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT
Who are we? The answer to this question is not only one of the tasks but the task of science.
- Erwin Schrödinger
Chapter 1: Plane Crash in C
When Leonard comes home after his date with Stephanie, Sheldon is sitting in the dark. He's in his usual spot on the couch, but there are no lamps on, no television, no laptop. When Leonard flicks the light on, Sheldon doesn't even flinch. He makes no comment about the abrupt change in lighting - just sits and stares straight ahead.
"Sheldon?" Leonard says. "What's going on? Why are you sitting in the dark?"
After a silence that seems to drag on forever but in fact lasts no longer than one minute and eighteen seconds, Sheldon finally turns his head. The expression on his face is utterly foreign; he looks remote and shaken and terribly human.
"I think," Sheldon says, "that I am going to have to go away for a while."
-
He moves to New York, because New York is on the opposite coast from CalTech and because the city has adequate research facilities within walking distance and because he can't shake the notion that Spider-man will be there whenever he looks up. Columbia University is glad to have him; taking up a faculty position in experimental particle physics means shifting his field of research slightly, but that's no particular obstacle.
He moves in and reassures himself that all of his mint comic books are still properly bagged and disinfects the kitchen and bathroom twice each. The apartment is small but clean, and although the rent is more than he paid in California, he's been hoarding his money in case of such an occurrence for years. Next he makes a list of things that a neurotypical would do in the Big Apple.
After seeing the size of the crowd in the lobby of the Empire State Building, he skips directly to number five on his list and goes in search of a bar. Building up a better tolerance for alcohol is one of his most highly prioritized secondary goals.
The bar he finally settles upon as acceptable is called MacLaren's.
-
"What - 'go away?' What do you mean? This isn't about your father, is it?" Leonard is puzzled; he's never seen Sheldon quite like this before.
"That is certainly one constituent reason among many," Sheldon answers, but his tone falls flat, like he's having to stretch for his usual level of condescension.
-
Inside the bar, it is crowded and loud, a veritable riot of lesser specimens of humanity. He freezes just inside the door and crosses his arms over his chest in a gesture that is equal parts defensive and offputting. The door opens behinds him, however, and forces him into motion. He locates the only empty booth and slides into it; the surface of the table is tacky, but he resists the urge to reach for his disinfecting wipes.
The waitress materializes at his side, and he flinches. "Hi, and welcome to MacLaren's. Would you like something to drink?"
"Yes, I'll have a Cuba Libre," he says. "With Diet Coke. And could you wash the lime with some sort of antibacterial soap before you slice it?"
"I'll...see what we can do," the waitress says, and bobs her head uncertainly.
"Very well," Sheldon says, and adds, somewhat awkwardly, "Thank you."
"Sure," the waitress says, and then she's gone, lost in the crowd between his booth and the bar.
-
"I've had several fruitful collaborations with staff members at Columbia University. There's an open position in their physics department - "
Leonard blinks. "You're really doing this."
"Yes."
"You've actually thought about this before."
"...Yes."
-
He's on his third Cuba Libre when a petite, dark-haired women holding two glass mugs of beer approaches him. "Hey," she says. "Couldn't help but notice you were over here by yourself. Mind if I join you?"
"I suppose not," he says, and waves a hand languidly at the empty seat opposite him. He's mellow enough now that it seems reasonable to accept the company of a strange woman; in another twenty minutes, he'll be on his feet and in search of a piano.
"Thanks," she says, and sets her mugs down. "I'm Lily Erikson, by the way."
"Doctor Sheldon Cooper," he says, and makes a futile effort to reach for her outstretched hand. After a couple of attempts he even succeeds. She pumps his hand twice and sits down.
Belatedly, a though occurs to him. "You aren't looking for some sort of romantic tête-à-tête, are you?" He narrows his eyes at her suspiciously.
"Nah, I'm married." She wiggles her fingers at him, and the light glints off her ring finger. "Just looking for a drinking buddy. My usual crowd pretty much abandoned me, and boy, did I have a tough day at work."
"Oh?" Act a little more interested, whispers a familiar voice in the back of his head. Come on. Buck up. Show some enthusiasm. "Where do you work?"
"I teach kindergarten," Lily says. "It's fun, y'know, and I like kids, but on some days...well, twenty five-year-olds take a lot of energy, let me tell you. How 'bout you? I've never seen you at MacLaren's before."
"I moved to New York very recently," he says. "I'm a theoretical physicist."
"A physicist, huh?" Lily looks suitably impressed. "Wow. Where did you move from?"
"Pasadena, California." He can see the bottom of his glass now, and he frowns into it thoughtfully. "I like these. Do you think I could have another?"
"You're pretty drunk, aren't you?" Lily seems to be swaying gently from side to side, although whether that is due to Sheldon's own intoxication or because Lily herself is a bit, well, tipsy, Sheldon can't say. "You want one of my beers?"
"Beer is the world's third most popular beverage," Sheldon agrees.
Lily laughs. "Y'know," she says, "I think I kind of like you, Sheldon Cooper."
_
By his third mug of beer, he's explaining to Lily the difference between triboluminescence and fractoluminescence. "The latter is usually considered a subset of the former," he tells her as he arranges their collected empty glasses in a straight line down the middle of the table. "Although fractoluminescence results from, as the name would suggest, fracturing a crystal rather than rubbing it."
"Wow," Lily says for the third time in as many minutes. "You're really smart."
"I am not! To imply that I am merely 'smart' is to imply that...that...am I really?"
Lily reaches out and pats him on the arm delicately. "Yeah. You're kinda sweet, too. I don't just get drunk with random people, you know."
"Oh?"
"No, normally there's like - like this group of us. My husband, Marshall - Marshall's really sweet, and tall!" She waves her hand above her head like she's trying to flag down a passing spaceship. "And Ted. They like Star Wars, I think you guys would get along. And Robin and Barney. They're playing laser tag. Shh! Don't tell anyone, though."
"Oh God," Sheldon says. "You can't expect me to keep that a secret! How am I supposed to keep that a secret? You should have told me that you wanted me to keep that a secret before telling me the secret, so I could have refused your covenant of secrecy."
Lily giggles, frowns, and belches. The bartender rings a bell and shouts for last orders. Sheldon decides that perhaps alcohol-induced socializing isn't so horrible.
-
"When are you leaving? Do you want - " Leonard's hand is still frozen in the key bowl.
"I'm leaving tomorrow. I'll send for my things once I'm established."
"Are you really sure you want to do this? I mean, geez, Sheldon, this isn't like you moving into your office for a couple of weeks."
"I am sorry, Leonard," he says, and he is. "Please - don't tell the others where I've gone."
-
He returns to MacLaren's three nights later, because Lily extracted a promise from him before they staggered home in opposite directions. She's sitting at the same booth with a group of people - three men and one other woman - and he hovers over them awkwardly before Lily looks up and notices them. "Sheldon!" she says, and her face splits into a grin. "Guys, this is Sheldon, the physicist I told you about."
"Theoretical physicist," Sheldon corrects in a prim tone, but he squeezes in beside Lily and the brunette woman without further protest.
-
He sways just the slightest amount when he stands up from the couch, but Leonard catches the motion. Of course.
"Are you drunk?"
"No," Sheldon says, and thinks, Not anymore.
-
They are, at first glance, as unlike his previous group of friends as possible, although he has a hunch that Penny would be entirely at ease in their company. They possess no particular intellectual gifts - although he does have his doubts about Barney, no man with a six-figure income can possibly be that stupid - and regard his own academic inclinations with fond amusement. What they do possess, collectively and individually, is kindness, camaraderie, a sense of adventure, and what Sheldon is coming to recognize as an appreciation for fun.
He does suspect that none of them would have initially socialized with him were it not for Lily. She, however, treats him in much the same way as a kindergarten student, plies him with alcohol, and guides the conversation into a mutually satisfying topic, namely the brilliance of George Lucas.
-
"Of course you couldn't help yourself," he says, and his nasal, pedantic tone makes her want to slap him. "You found my reserve and apparent disinterest in sexual relations merely one more challenge to surmount. I've noticed such a pattern on television, with forward women pursuing an unavailable or unattainable man merely to ascertain their own allure." He slides out of her bed and pulls his pants on without looking at her. "I am well aware of what is expected following such a coital encounter, and I assure you I will behave within those parameters. Even I know how to keep some secrets." Watching him, she has trouble believing that not forty minutes ago this is the same man who pinned her hips to the mattress with one long-fingered hand while gently chastising her impatience; then he lifts his arms and tugs his t-shirt on, and the play of muscles in his lean back makes it all too easy to believe.
"Sheldon - " she starts, and sits up, the sheets pooling around her waist.
He pauses in the doorway, one hand resting briefly on the frame; still he doesn't look at her. "The encounter was...most enjoyable. Thank you, Penny," he says. Then he leaves. Still he does not look back.
"Sheldon, that wasn't why - " she tries to tell him, but he is gone.
Five years pass before she sees him again.
CHARACTERS: Sheldon/Penny, future Barney/Robin
NOTES: Crossover between How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory, sort of late S2 for TBBT and early S4 for HIMYM. Really, really non-linear format. Um, future chapters to follow? I am horribly nervous about my characterization, so feedback is welcome.
SUMMARY: Sheldon, after a series of moderately traumatic occurrences possibly involving Penny and/or his dead father, moves to New York, starts undergoing therapy for Asperger syndrome and OCPD, and sort of gets adopted by the HIMYM gang. (In other words, crackfic/any excuse for a crossover!)
SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT
Who are we? The answer to this question is not only one of the tasks but the task of science.
- Erwin Schrödinger
Chapter 1: Plane Crash in C
When Leonard comes home after his date with Stephanie, Sheldon is sitting in the dark. He's in his usual spot on the couch, but there are no lamps on, no television, no laptop. When Leonard flicks the light on, Sheldon doesn't even flinch. He makes no comment about the abrupt change in lighting - just sits and stares straight ahead.
"Sheldon?" Leonard says. "What's going on? Why are you sitting in the dark?"
After a silence that seems to drag on forever but in fact lasts no longer than one minute and eighteen seconds, Sheldon finally turns his head. The expression on his face is utterly foreign; he looks remote and shaken and terribly human.
"I think," Sheldon says, "that I am going to have to go away for a while."
-
He moves to New York, because New York is on the opposite coast from CalTech and because the city has adequate research facilities within walking distance and because he can't shake the notion that Spider-man will be there whenever he looks up. Columbia University is glad to have him; taking up a faculty position in experimental particle physics means shifting his field of research slightly, but that's no particular obstacle.
He moves in and reassures himself that all of his mint comic books are still properly bagged and disinfects the kitchen and bathroom twice each. The apartment is small but clean, and although the rent is more than he paid in California, he's been hoarding his money in case of such an occurrence for years. Next he makes a list of things that a neurotypical would do in the Big Apple.
After seeing the size of the crowd in the lobby of the Empire State Building, he skips directly to number five on his list and goes in search of a bar. Building up a better tolerance for alcohol is one of his most highly prioritized secondary goals.
The bar he finally settles upon as acceptable is called MacLaren's.
-
"What - 'go away?' What do you mean? This isn't about your father, is it?" Leonard is puzzled; he's never seen Sheldon quite like this before.
"That is certainly one constituent reason among many," Sheldon answers, but his tone falls flat, like he's having to stretch for his usual level of condescension.
-
Inside the bar, it is crowded and loud, a veritable riot of lesser specimens of humanity. He freezes just inside the door and crosses his arms over his chest in a gesture that is equal parts defensive and offputting. The door opens behinds him, however, and forces him into motion. He locates the only empty booth and slides into it; the surface of the table is tacky, but he resists the urge to reach for his disinfecting wipes.
The waitress materializes at his side, and he flinches. "Hi, and welcome to MacLaren's. Would you like something to drink?"
"Yes, I'll have a Cuba Libre," he says. "With Diet Coke. And could you wash the lime with some sort of antibacterial soap before you slice it?"
"I'll...see what we can do," the waitress says, and bobs her head uncertainly.
"Very well," Sheldon says, and adds, somewhat awkwardly, "Thank you."
"Sure," the waitress says, and then she's gone, lost in the crowd between his booth and the bar.
-
"I've had several fruitful collaborations with staff members at Columbia University. There's an open position in their physics department - "
Leonard blinks. "You're really doing this."
"Yes."
"You've actually thought about this before."
"...Yes."
-
He's on his third Cuba Libre when a petite, dark-haired women holding two glass mugs of beer approaches him. "Hey," she says. "Couldn't help but notice you were over here by yourself. Mind if I join you?"
"I suppose not," he says, and waves a hand languidly at the empty seat opposite him. He's mellow enough now that it seems reasonable to accept the company of a strange woman; in another twenty minutes, he'll be on his feet and in search of a piano.
"Thanks," she says, and sets her mugs down. "I'm Lily Erikson, by the way."
"Doctor Sheldon Cooper," he says, and makes a futile effort to reach for her outstretched hand. After a couple of attempts he even succeeds. She pumps his hand twice and sits down.
Belatedly, a though occurs to him. "You aren't looking for some sort of romantic tête-à-tête, are you?" He narrows his eyes at her suspiciously.
"Nah, I'm married." She wiggles her fingers at him, and the light glints off her ring finger. "Just looking for a drinking buddy. My usual crowd pretty much abandoned me, and boy, did I have a tough day at work."
"Oh?" Act a little more interested, whispers a familiar voice in the back of his head. Come on. Buck up. Show some enthusiasm. "Where do you work?"
"I teach kindergarten," Lily says. "It's fun, y'know, and I like kids, but on some days...well, twenty five-year-olds take a lot of energy, let me tell you. How 'bout you? I've never seen you at MacLaren's before."
"I moved to New York very recently," he says. "I'm a theoretical physicist."
"A physicist, huh?" Lily looks suitably impressed. "Wow. Where did you move from?"
"Pasadena, California." He can see the bottom of his glass now, and he frowns into it thoughtfully. "I like these. Do you think I could have another?"
"You're pretty drunk, aren't you?" Lily seems to be swaying gently from side to side, although whether that is due to Sheldon's own intoxication or because Lily herself is a bit, well, tipsy, Sheldon can't say. "You want one of my beers?"
"Beer is the world's third most popular beverage," Sheldon agrees.
Lily laughs. "Y'know," she says, "I think I kind of like you, Sheldon Cooper."
_
By his third mug of beer, he's explaining to Lily the difference between triboluminescence and fractoluminescence. "The latter is usually considered a subset of the former," he tells her as he arranges their collected empty glasses in a straight line down the middle of the table. "Although fractoluminescence results from, as the name would suggest, fracturing a crystal rather than rubbing it."
"Wow," Lily says for the third time in as many minutes. "You're really smart."
"I am not! To imply that I am merely 'smart' is to imply that...that...am I really?"
Lily reaches out and pats him on the arm delicately. "Yeah. You're kinda sweet, too. I don't just get drunk with random people, you know."
"Oh?"
"No, normally there's like - like this group of us. My husband, Marshall - Marshall's really sweet, and tall!" She waves her hand above her head like she's trying to flag down a passing spaceship. "And Ted. They like Star Wars, I think you guys would get along. And Robin and Barney. They're playing laser tag. Shh! Don't tell anyone, though."
"Oh God," Sheldon says. "You can't expect me to keep that a secret! How am I supposed to keep that a secret? You should have told me that you wanted me to keep that a secret before telling me the secret, so I could have refused your covenant of secrecy."
Lily giggles, frowns, and belches. The bartender rings a bell and shouts for last orders. Sheldon decides that perhaps alcohol-induced socializing isn't so horrible.
-
"When are you leaving? Do you want - " Leonard's hand is still frozen in the key bowl.
"I'm leaving tomorrow. I'll send for my things once I'm established."
"Are you really sure you want to do this? I mean, geez, Sheldon, this isn't like you moving into your office for a couple of weeks."
"I am sorry, Leonard," he says, and he is. "Please - don't tell the others where I've gone."
-
He returns to MacLaren's three nights later, because Lily extracted a promise from him before they staggered home in opposite directions. She's sitting at the same booth with a group of people - three men and one other woman - and he hovers over them awkwardly before Lily looks up and notices them. "Sheldon!" she says, and her face splits into a grin. "Guys, this is Sheldon, the physicist I told you about."
"Theoretical physicist," Sheldon corrects in a prim tone, but he squeezes in beside Lily and the brunette woman without further protest.
-
He sways just the slightest amount when he stands up from the couch, but Leonard catches the motion. Of course.
"Are you drunk?"
"No," Sheldon says, and thinks, Not anymore.
-
They are, at first glance, as unlike his previous group of friends as possible, although he has a hunch that Penny would be entirely at ease in their company. They possess no particular intellectual gifts - although he does have his doubts about Barney, no man with a six-figure income can possibly be that stupid - and regard his own academic inclinations with fond amusement. What they do possess, collectively and individually, is kindness, camaraderie, a sense of adventure, and what Sheldon is coming to recognize as an appreciation for fun.
He does suspect that none of them would have initially socialized with him were it not for Lily. She, however, treats him in much the same way as a kindergarten student, plies him with alcohol, and guides the conversation into a mutually satisfying topic, namely the brilliance of George Lucas.
-
"Of course you couldn't help yourself," he says, and his nasal, pedantic tone makes her want to slap him. "You found my reserve and apparent disinterest in sexual relations merely one more challenge to surmount. I've noticed such a pattern on television, with forward women pursuing an unavailable or unattainable man merely to ascertain their own allure." He slides out of her bed and pulls his pants on without looking at her. "I am well aware of what is expected following such a coital encounter, and I assure you I will behave within those parameters. Even I know how to keep some secrets." Watching him, she has trouble believing that not forty minutes ago this is the same man who pinned her hips to the mattress with one long-fingered hand while gently chastising her impatience; then he lifts his arms and tugs his t-shirt on, and the play of muscles in his lean back makes it all too easy to believe.
"Sheldon - " she starts, and sits up, the sheets pooling around her waist.
He pauses in the doorway, one hand resting briefly on the frame; still he doesn't look at her. "The encounter was...most enjoyable. Thank you, Penny," he says. Then he leaves. Still he does not look back.
"Sheldon, that wasn't why - " she tries to tell him, but he is gone.
Five years pass before she sees him again.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 09:26 am (UTC)The last bit was pretty sad! I feel for Penny; Sheldon's being a real dick here. I don't think he'd likely behave that way, mostly because I don't think he has the social experience to be so effortlessly judgmental and cynical, but given that you've shown he's going through other emotional problems at the same time, that explains erratic behavior.
Looking forward to the next part!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 05:32 pm (UTC)And amazed. At how well this was done. BRAVO!
I cannot wait to read more!
And I do believe Lily as the connection makes complete sense. Perfect perfect!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 03:03 am (UTC)> And it'd be nice for her to have a good friend besides Marshall, since Robin is more like Ted & Barney's best friend than Lily's.
That's a good point. I hadn't thought of things from that angle, but I wasn't ever really sold on Lily and Robin as best friends. They seem close, but not that close.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 09:31 am (UTC)I loved the present scenes intertwined with the flashbacks. The last one made my heart hurt a little.
I can't wait to read Sheldon interacting with the rest of the HIMYM gang. Of course Sheldon would get along great with Lily: she's the kindergarten teacher! :D
Anyways, great job.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 09:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 03:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 03:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 10:20 am (UTC)And I LOVE that you diagnosed him with Aspergers for this... I first stumbled on tbbt by accident and said "OMG Autism Spectrum!" amidst uncontrollable laughter.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 03:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 10:23 am (UTC)Because the characterisation of Sheldon is SPOT ON! And that's so, so hard. I love how it's all from Sheldon's POV so everything seems normal but I'd love to know what the group think of him. And the nod to Barney's smarts was... awesometown! Hehe.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 03:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 12:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 03:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 01:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 03:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 03:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 03:49 pm (UTC)ETA: Also I am catching so many nuances after reading it over again. You do a great job on leading to why he is acting like this.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 04:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 06:10 pm (UTC)And that last flashback makes me sad. YOU MUST FIX THIS.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 07:25 pm (UTC)I'm really enjoying this. I could see Lily adopting Sheldon. I hope to read more soon.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 07:52 pm (UTC)I LOVE YOU.
Your Sheldon voice is spot on and the fact that Lily was the first to meet him - you made it feel likt that was the only way to go.
I can't wait for the next part.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 12:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 01:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 02:35 am (UTC)I love the idea of BBT/HIMYM crossover and I also love the idea of Penny/Sheldon. It's just oddly sweet somehow.
I am so impressed by your adept characterization of Sheldon. I've attempted to write him before and I can't wrap my brain around his mind and his general quirks. So massive kudoes.
How soon till we get more?
no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 04:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 05:35 am (UTC)Oh, You totally win for crossovering my two favorite comedy shows. And you promise to write my two favorite pairings? TOGETHER? Yep, you can bet that I'll be reading it.:D
I loved the way you portrayed Sheldon, very spot on, and somehow unique. I’m looking forward to what happens next, not to mention further explanations on the past events. I also lovedthat you plan on having him on teraphy. That has the potential to be both funny and painful, in a good way.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-13 04:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-18 05:17 am (UTC)"Oh God," Sheldon says. "You can't expect me to keep that a secret! How am I supposed to keep that a secret? You should have told me that you wanted me to keep that a secret before telling me the secret, so I could have refused your covenant of secrecy."
LOL I love it!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-23 04:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-09 05:26 pm (UTC)