[fic] twilight, "eternal epiphany"

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TITLE:  Eternal Epiphany
CHARACTERS:  Jasper/Alice
NOTES:  Written for twilightathon.
SUMMARY:  Romance.  You might choke. 

ETERNAL EPIPHANY

- you’re angry, JASPER says to her one day.

- and you’re going to calm me down, she retorts impishly, and then the moment hits them, and they break down in laughter and lean on each other, giggling.  even JASPER is giggling.  they can’t help it.

there’s laughter in their relationship.  alice likes that.


It’s not that Jasper doesn’t know what he would do without Alice; it’s that he knows exactly what he would do.  He knows that there would be blood, and death, not just for the humans but the vampires too, because Jasper is territorial.

It helps that he’s so attracted to her.  He thinks that for every vampire the pull is as much sexual attraction as hunger; that’s why Edward loves the human girl.  But he desires Alice, so his bloodlust is lessoned.  He’s glad Alice isn’t human, though.

She helps in other ways, too.  Even though she isn’t an empath like him or a telepath like Edward, she always knows when his thoughts have slipped back to the war, and she curls up in his lap and wraps her arms around his neck and presses her ear against his chest.  It’s like she’s listening to a heartbeat that only she can hear.


he’s always a gentleman, but sometimes they fight.  alice expects that, because they’re both fierce and independent and fiercely independent.  then they go away from each other, because they need space to breathe their own air.  oh, it’s not like they have an open relationship; they’re jealous of each other too, and Jasper would kill anyone that came close to alice, and alice would do worse to any that approached him.  but sometimes they just need space, that’s all.

returning is all the sweeter.  once alice has remembered who she is she also remembers that part of her is JASPER, and then she falls into his arms and in love with him all over again.


He only married her one time.  It was before they met Carlisle, and he still doesn’t know what compelled him to propose.  Vampires scorn human rites, and marriage is as human a rite as there is, and Jasper is all vampire.  He thinks she expected it, though, because she already had the rings in her pocket.  

He wears his ring on a chain around his neck, and she wears hers on her right forefinger.


carlisle thinks that emmett and rosalie have a physical attraction, and that he and esme have a spiritual one, and that JASPER and alice have a mental one.  alice knows this because edward told her.  she thinks that carlisle must believe that because she and JASPER read a lot together.  she likes reading, because it’s almost impossible to see the end of the story.  so she reads a lot.  JASPER just likes to read because he’s a genuine nineteenth-century nerd.

they’re the ones that build up the library, and it becomes their room more than alice’s bedroom or JASPER’s study.  they curl up in an armchair, and alice laughs at her books.  JASPER scowls at his, and she teases him about it.  she likes the way his brows knit together.


He tries to list all of the reasons that he loves her.  When he gets tired of holding the list in his memory he copies it onto crisp pages of unlined paper and tucks it in the bottom drawer of his desk.  Every so often he takes it out and adds to it.

One night she comes up behind him and leans over his shoulder.  “Reasons to Love Alice,” she reads, a grin of pure delight curling her pixie lips.  “Number one:  she’s Alice.”  She kisses him on the cheek, which is not red because vampires don’t blush.

“Number two: because she’s my equal.”  She scans the line again and drapes herself over his shoulder.  “Care to elaborate?”

Jasper knows he doesn’t have a choice.  “I think,” he says slowly, “I like that you’re a match for me in every way.  Rosalie and Esme both hang back in battle, but you can not only match me in battle but outfight me.  And you’re just as quick intellectually.”

“Then aren’t you lucky,” she says, and kisses him on the lips.  

Jasper never see his list again, so he starts another one, and when that disappears too he just starts telling Alice his reasons as he thinks of them.


he goes shopping with her.  not a lot of guys would do that.  one time as they sit outside of hot topic, just resting on a bench as she sorts through receipts, they spot a flock of teenagers with long swept-over hair and eyeliner and girl pants.

- that’s us, JASPER says.  

it’s a good thing that they ended up together, alice thinks, because nobody else would get his sense of humor.

- because there's angst in our respective pasts?

- exactly, he replies deadpan, and then asks if he can carry her bags.


One day she asks him what he thinks of Bella.  He doesn’t say, “I want to drink her blood,” even though that’s what he’s thinking.  He says, “I think Edward loves her very much.”

“I don’t,” Alice says, and he starts.

“Why not?  I thought you adored Bella.”  That Alice can genuinely puzzle him, after all these years, thrills him.

“I do.  But it’s not healthy – for either of them.  Have you seen the way Edward looks at her?”

“He worships her,” Jasper answers.

“And he controls her.  She forgives him for everything and does what he tells her.  Would you leave me if you thought it would keep me safe?”

“No,” he says, the realization dawning.  “I would trust you to know yourself.  But she’s just a human – ”

“That shouldn’t matter,” Alice declares, and then sighs.  “She should be with Jacob.”

“The werewolf?”

“He’s better for her,” she insists.  “But I won’t tell any of them that.”

“No,” he agrees, and hugs her.


sometimes when they’re curled up reading, alice shoves her book on top of JASPER’s.  

- read to me, she demands.

- why? he drawls, with undiluted southern honey in his voice.
    
- that’s why, she says.


Little moments make up their relationship.  It’s not some grand sweeping passion; they’re just committed to each other, that’s all.  Forever.

And their eternal epiphany is this:

I still love you.