damalurbackup (
damalurbackup) wrote2009-01-29 02:21 am
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Entry tags:
[fic] tsubasa, "the execution of all things - part 4"
TITLE: The Execution of All Things, Pt. 4
CHARACTERS: Kurogane/Fai
NOTES: See part the first.
SUMMARY: Fai is dead. A world is ending. Kurogane copes about as well as you'd expect.
Act 4.
4.1 | black steel
It is a very profound thing, killing a person; a very profound thing, a very dark thing, a thing that hitches your breath and speeds your heart and pumps through your veins like no other.
Kurogane has killed, and Kurogane has killed, and Kurogane has lusted - that's the word for it, lust, it implies a sick endless need, it implies perversity, it implies instinct - Kurogane has lusted for blood, and Kurogane has killed yet again. You can say he just wanted to protect his loved ones, you can say he was just guarding the princess, you can say he was one of the good guys.
It doesn't change that he went against the direct orders of his mistress and slaughtered ten men, twenty men, thirty or forty or a hundred men, just to prove his strength, just for the challenge, just because once he started he couldn't stop and his blood sang for death and his sword sang for blood and soon they were all dead at his feet and still he called for more, more enemies, more foes, called them out with a song in his heart and laughter in his voice -
Killing is his vice. Killing is his addiction.
Don't let overuse of the word harden you to its meaning. Killing, easy, K-I-L-L-I-N-G, to kill, to slaughter, to slay, to execute. This is how Kurogane kills: quickly, not with mercy, only quickly because then he can get on to killing the next man that much faster. Quickly, a thrust to your heart, a slash to your chest, a stab to your gut - can you imagine that? Five feet of cold steel sliding into your stomach? Take a moment to examine the idea. Put your hand on your belly. Feel how soft it is, how fleshy, how easy it would be to slip something sharp under your ribs. That feeling? That's vulnerability.
We can even slow down to stoptime as you die, so you can savor the experience: first comes a shock, that's your skin parting, that icy punch is your intestines, that searing nonpain is something hard and foreign stabbing through the wet innards of your kidney. Maybe Kurogane nicks a lung on the way out, and the breath rushes from you; maybe the edge of his blade severs your spine. From there he might pull the sword straight out, so you feel the whole thing in reverse; he might rip straight out your side, and if you're lucky you'll black out from the pain. If you are still alive and conscious, you might have enough time to think about your husband, your wife, your children, your mother -
In real time your death took twenty or thirty seconds. At the most. Barely a speck on the periphery of Kurogane's consciousness.
They call Fai the dark one, the twisted one; but it wasn't Fai that had a seal placed on him to keep him from killing. They say Kurogane is shy, is bashful, is strong, is proud and beneath that compassionate, and he is; but he's also a demon. Just look at his eyes: red eyes, battle eyes, crimson for war and scarlet for blood and that's the demon, the addiction, there in his eyes.
You can see it.
So it's not hard to believe that maybe Kurogane wasn't paying attention in the rush of battle. Maybe he was just caught up in the fight. Maybe he didn't even see Fai until it was too late. Maybe it wasn't even his sword that split the vampire from neck to navel; maybe he never even saw Fai at all, just a flash of yellow and a spray of sticky red fluid.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
(They never did find the body.)
4.2 | journeys end in lovers meeting
This is Kurogane:
Frozen. Absolutely and utterly frozen. Numbed. Because it can't be Fai, it isn't Fai, Fai is dead -
Tsukuyomi says something, from a very long distance away. The dead man nods, and she lays a gentle hand on his arm, and then he stands. The man, the dead man stands and walks to Kurogane, and clasps his elbow, and leads him away to a small bare room.
He hesitates, this dead man, his eyes on level with Kurogane's shoulder, and then he says, "Well," and turns away.
Something in Kurogane wakes, and he grabs the other by the shoulder and holds him still. "Fai," he says.
"Yes," says Fai, and looks him in the face, and Kurogane's breath catches in his throat.
"Your eyes are blue," the ninja says helplessly, and something of his joy must leak through, because a small smile curls at Fai's lips.
"Your eyes are blue," Kurogane repeats.
"You'll have some questions, I imagine," Fai says. Kurogane releases him belatedly, and he moves away to sit. Kurogane mimics the gesture mindlessly.
"You're Blue John," Kurogane says, and finally the anger rears its head. "You were alive this whole time, and now I find out you're a terrorist - "
"I," Fai says with great dignity, "am not a terrorist. Honestly, Kuro-tan, I would hope you'd know me better than that. And I most certainly have not been alive this whole time. Just most of it."
"Oh." Kurogane fumbles for an outlet. "But you are breaking the law."
"Of course," Fai says cheerfully and with complete acceptance.
"Oh," Kurogane says again, and resigns himself to being hopelessly lost.
Fai shoots him an arch look. "Would Kuro-rin like to know why?"
Kurogane growls, and Fai beams, and the universe falls back into place again.
4.3 | on resurrection
At this point you probably have some questions. How did Fai come back to life? Was he ever really dead? Did Kurogane actually kill him, or was his death the result of some insidious plot by Fei Wong Reed?
In reverse order, yes, yes, and however you like.
Pretend that Yuuko brought him back to life, because she couldn't save him as a child. Or pretend that Sakura willed him back into existence with the faith of utter love and power. Or pretend that he saved himself, that somehow his vampire blood mixed with some remnant of magic. Pretend that Kurogane loved him too much. Pretend that he was reincarnated. Pretend that he's not even the Fai of Celes, the Yuui of Valeria, at all; pretend he's from another world.
But if it's truth you want -
Look back to Ashura.
4.4 | the magician's tale
"It's not really as long a story as you might think, me being here," Fai begins. "After that battle - well, afterwards I found myself in a place outside of normal dimensions." His gaze turns inwards, and Kurogane thinks that maybe he is thinking of a castle in Valeria. "A place where time doesn't flow and magic doesn't work..." he murmurs, and Kurogane settles back to listen.
It's not really as long a story as you might think, me being here. After that battle - well, afterwards I found myself in a place outside of normal dimensions. A place where time doesn't flow and magic doesn't work, a place that was completely flat and featureless and gray. I might have been there for years, or just for seconds; it was impossible to tell. Mind boggling, isn't it, Kuro-wan?
Then it felt like I went to sleep, and when I opened my eyes - there was the dimension witch, bending over and prodding me with a pipe. "Well now," she said, "it's about time you woke up."
I rolled to my feet and noticed two things: one, that I couldn't smell Lady Witch's blood, and two, that I could sense her magic. "Where are the others? Why am I here?" I asked. "Why am I alive?"
"Questions that plague all of us," Lady Witch agreed, and leaned towards me rather flirtatiously. "Are you willing to pay the price for the answers, though?"
"Lady Witch is so beautiful," I answered, "that I can't imagine any payment she'd request would be a burden."
She threw back her head and laughed in a very unladylike way, but it was somehow catching; I felt better than I had - I suppose since Tokyo, and I couldn't help but laugh with her. Finally we calmed ourselves and she poured some tea.
"I like you, Wizard D," she said, "and so I'll give you your answers for free. I owe something of a debt to you anyway." Her gaze was shrewd, and I was able to just glimpse something of the depth below her still face. She's a kind person, the dimension witch, although she's no fool. "I find that I have need of a magician here in Japan, and here you are."
"Here I am," I said. "The why is what eludes me."
Lady Witch reached for her pipe, produced tobacco and a match, and silently started her ritual. Not until the pipe was drawing did she speak. "To answer: first, your comrades are both safe and successful. You, on the other hand, should be dead. But someone made a wish, that when your flesh was destroyed your soul would remain on this plane. That person was strong enough to weave a spell to recreate your body, so the soul would have a home. It's similar to what happened to Princess Sakura and her clone."
"A powerful wish," I said. "The price must have been terrible! But who would want such a thing?"
"Your king," answered Lady Witch. "Ashura."
That was nothing I expected, and I had to mull over the revelation for some minutes before I was able to speak. "And I am here because...?"
"That was my interference," she said. "Ashura's spell would have drawn you back to Celes. I believe it might have been a failsafe, in case something happened to you before you could kill him. But there is no longer a Celes for you to return to, and as I said I have need of a magician."
"For what purpose?" I asked.
Lady Witch's face grew quiet. "This world," she said, "is an anchor world. A keystone, if you will, one of the twelve worlds that bind all dimensions together. And it is ending. As we speak, seven angels and seven seals are battling to decide its fate; but whichever side wins, the fabric of this dimension is already tearing apart. Thousands of people are dying daily. I wish," she said, and her lips quirked at the words, "I wish to move the people of this world elsewhere."
"That's will take a great deal of magic," I said, "to move millions of people to another dimension. But ask why me?"
"You have the strength," said Lady Witch. "And there's a third person to help us, a sorceress of great power. I had rather hoped you would stay because of your fealty to her."
"Who?" I asked. She gestured to the door, and it slid open, and standing on the other side was Princess Sakura.
She was not our Princess Sakura, or even the other, the clone. She was older than the Sakura we knew, for one thing, but she had the same laughing green eyes. "Hello," she said, "you must be Fai."
She was not the Sakura we knew, but she was still my princess. Does that - do you understand? I thought you might. The Tomoyo in Piffle, she wasn't your Tomoyo, but in a way she was still your master, wasn't she? So of course I agreed, and that's all there is to it, really. Even as we speak, Lady Witch is holding open the door to the north of here and several others like it. This dimension is a mirror of Japan, so it's much easier to move between the two. Sakura-chan and I have been moving as many people through as possible; the only problem, of course, is that Amaterasu has placed an immigration limit on us because she fears for her own people. So we've been working covertly, but if Tsukuyomi will agree to lift the ban - we don't have much time left, anyway.
And that's how Fai became an interdimensional outlaw! Oh, the name, of course - Blue John is another name for fluorite. You should have done your research, Kuro-puu.
4.5 | opposition
Kurogane likes a number of things about Fai. He admires the other's sheer determination, he appreciates Fai's quick, sharp mind, he knows without a doubt that the man is nearly his equal in battle, and probably his superior when using magic.
Kurogane dislikes an equal number of things about Fai. He finds Fai's stubbornness maddening, hates that the other simply cannot lay his past to rest, despises the cheerful mask Fai wears to hide his true self and despises that sometimes that mask isn't quite so false. He doesn't secretly enjoy being called all those queer pet names, he cannot stand when Fai makes that stupid fake whistling noise, above all he hates how Fai is secretive and enigmatic -
Sometimes the man is just goddamned near inscrutable.
Kurogane himself is, doubtlessly, a pillar of virtue and clarity.
4.6 | what they say
"Huh," Kurogane says.
"An odd story, isn't it? Are you going to arrest me now?" The teasing is so natural, and Kurogane realizes this is Fai reborn, Fai unblemished and whole, Fai with purpose. This Fai is a sorcerer proper, not a vampire forced to feast on Kurogane's blood. (There had been an odd sort of intimacy to it, though, Fai's graceful neck bent to the underside of Kurogane's wrist, Fai's lips on Kurogane's skin - )
The teasing is natural, but the intimacy is missing. They're stilted and awkward in a way that has nothing to do with how they speak to each other and everything to do with the five feet of space between them as they sit. Kurogane has his duty and Fai has his duty but Kurogane does not have Fai and Fai does not have Kurogane.
"No," Kurogane says gruffly. "You're in official negotiations with Tsukuyomi. But if you know who attacked the castle - "
"I don't," Fai says, and there is real regret in his voice. "I have some information I could give you, but - "
"That's fine," Kurogane interrupts.
Something behind Fai's face deflates. "Of course," Fai says. "I suppose I should get back to Princess Tomoyo now. She thinks we can set up some camps on the southern islands."
"I ought to leave," Kurogane says helplessly. He feels like he's standing knee-deep in the ocean and an irresistible undercurrent is tugging his legs out from beneath him. "Souma needs - "
Fai nods and smiles brightly and Kurogane wants to hit him. Then Fai would hit back, of course, and maybe everything would be back to the way it was, and they would go talk to Tomoyo, they'd figure out who burned the castle, they'd find a place for all the refugees, and that evening they would go home together -
Fai's already at the door, though. "See you later, then, Kuro-chi," he says, and slips out of the room.
And then he's gone, again he's gone from Kurogane's life.
4.7 | what they don't say
Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.
- William Shakespeare
<< | >>
CHARACTERS: Kurogane/Fai
NOTES: See part the first.
SUMMARY: Fai is dead. A world is ending. Kurogane copes about as well as you'd expect.
Act 4.
4.1 | black steel
It is a very profound thing, killing a person; a very profound thing, a very dark thing, a thing that hitches your breath and speeds your heart and pumps through your veins like no other.
Kurogane has killed, and Kurogane has killed, and Kurogane has lusted - that's the word for it, lust, it implies a sick endless need, it implies perversity, it implies instinct - Kurogane has lusted for blood, and Kurogane has killed yet again. You can say he just wanted to protect his loved ones, you can say he was just guarding the princess, you can say he was one of the good guys.
It doesn't change that he went against the direct orders of his mistress and slaughtered ten men, twenty men, thirty or forty or a hundred men, just to prove his strength, just for the challenge, just because once he started he couldn't stop and his blood sang for death and his sword sang for blood and soon they were all dead at his feet and still he called for more, more enemies, more foes, called them out with a song in his heart and laughter in his voice -
Killing is his vice. Killing is his addiction.
Don't let overuse of the word harden you to its meaning. Killing, easy, K-I-L-L-I-N-G, to kill, to slaughter, to slay, to execute. This is how Kurogane kills: quickly, not with mercy, only quickly because then he can get on to killing the next man that much faster. Quickly, a thrust to your heart, a slash to your chest, a stab to your gut - can you imagine that? Five feet of cold steel sliding into your stomach? Take a moment to examine the idea. Put your hand on your belly. Feel how soft it is, how fleshy, how easy it would be to slip something sharp under your ribs. That feeling? That's vulnerability.
We can even slow down to stoptime as you die, so you can savor the experience: first comes a shock, that's your skin parting, that icy punch is your intestines, that searing nonpain is something hard and foreign stabbing through the wet innards of your kidney. Maybe Kurogane nicks a lung on the way out, and the breath rushes from you; maybe the edge of his blade severs your spine. From there he might pull the sword straight out, so you feel the whole thing in reverse; he might rip straight out your side, and if you're lucky you'll black out from the pain. If you are still alive and conscious, you might have enough time to think about your husband, your wife, your children, your mother -
In real time your death took twenty or thirty seconds. At the most. Barely a speck on the periphery of Kurogane's consciousness.
They call Fai the dark one, the twisted one; but it wasn't Fai that had a seal placed on him to keep him from killing. They say Kurogane is shy, is bashful, is strong, is proud and beneath that compassionate, and he is; but he's also a demon. Just look at his eyes: red eyes, battle eyes, crimson for war and scarlet for blood and that's the demon, the addiction, there in his eyes.
You can see it.
So it's not hard to believe that maybe Kurogane wasn't paying attention in the rush of battle. Maybe he was just caught up in the fight. Maybe he didn't even see Fai until it was too late. Maybe it wasn't even his sword that split the vampire from neck to navel; maybe he never even saw Fai at all, just a flash of yellow and a spray of sticky red fluid.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
(They never did find the body.)
4.2 | journeys end in lovers meeting
This is Kurogane:
Frozen. Absolutely and utterly frozen. Numbed. Because it can't be Fai, it isn't Fai, Fai is dead -
Tsukuyomi says something, from a very long distance away. The dead man nods, and she lays a gentle hand on his arm, and then he stands. The man, the dead man stands and walks to Kurogane, and clasps his elbow, and leads him away to a small bare room.
He hesitates, this dead man, his eyes on level with Kurogane's shoulder, and then he says, "Well," and turns away.
Something in Kurogane wakes, and he grabs the other by the shoulder and holds him still. "Fai," he says.
"Yes," says Fai, and looks him in the face, and Kurogane's breath catches in his throat.
"Your eyes are blue," the ninja says helplessly, and something of his joy must leak through, because a small smile curls at Fai's lips.
"Your eyes are blue," Kurogane repeats.
"You'll have some questions, I imagine," Fai says. Kurogane releases him belatedly, and he moves away to sit. Kurogane mimics the gesture mindlessly.
"You're Blue John," Kurogane says, and finally the anger rears its head. "You were alive this whole time, and now I find out you're a terrorist - "
"I," Fai says with great dignity, "am not a terrorist. Honestly, Kuro-tan, I would hope you'd know me better than that. And I most certainly have not been alive this whole time. Just most of it."
"Oh." Kurogane fumbles for an outlet. "But you are breaking the law."
"Of course," Fai says cheerfully and with complete acceptance.
"Oh," Kurogane says again, and resigns himself to being hopelessly lost.
Fai shoots him an arch look. "Would Kuro-rin like to know why?"
Kurogane growls, and Fai beams, and the universe falls back into place again.
4.3 | on resurrection
At this point you probably have some questions. How did Fai come back to life? Was he ever really dead? Did Kurogane actually kill him, or was his death the result of some insidious plot by Fei Wong Reed?
In reverse order, yes, yes, and however you like.
Pretend that Yuuko brought him back to life, because she couldn't save him as a child. Or pretend that Sakura willed him back into existence with the faith of utter love and power. Or pretend that he saved himself, that somehow his vampire blood mixed with some remnant of magic. Pretend that Kurogane loved him too much. Pretend that he was reincarnated. Pretend that he's not even the Fai of Celes, the Yuui of Valeria, at all; pretend he's from another world.
But if it's truth you want -
Look back to Ashura.
4.4 | the magician's tale
"It's not really as long a story as you might think, me being here," Fai begins. "After that battle - well, afterwards I found myself in a place outside of normal dimensions." His gaze turns inwards, and Kurogane thinks that maybe he is thinking of a castle in Valeria. "A place where time doesn't flow and magic doesn't work..." he murmurs, and Kurogane settles back to listen.
It's not really as long a story as you might think, me being here. After that battle - well, afterwards I found myself in a place outside of normal dimensions. A place where time doesn't flow and magic doesn't work, a place that was completely flat and featureless and gray. I might have been there for years, or just for seconds; it was impossible to tell. Mind boggling, isn't it, Kuro-wan?
Then it felt like I went to sleep, and when I opened my eyes - there was the dimension witch, bending over and prodding me with a pipe. "Well now," she said, "it's about time you woke up."
I rolled to my feet and noticed two things: one, that I couldn't smell Lady Witch's blood, and two, that I could sense her magic. "Where are the others? Why am I here?" I asked. "Why am I alive?"
"Questions that plague all of us," Lady Witch agreed, and leaned towards me rather flirtatiously. "Are you willing to pay the price for the answers, though?"
"Lady Witch is so beautiful," I answered, "that I can't imagine any payment she'd request would be a burden."
She threw back her head and laughed in a very unladylike way, but it was somehow catching; I felt better than I had - I suppose since Tokyo, and I couldn't help but laugh with her. Finally we calmed ourselves and she poured some tea.
"I like you, Wizard D," she said, "and so I'll give you your answers for free. I owe something of a debt to you anyway." Her gaze was shrewd, and I was able to just glimpse something of the depth below her still face. She's a kind person, the dimension witch, although she's no fool. "I find that I have need of a magician here in Japan, and here you are."
"Here I am," I said. "The why is what eludes me."
Lady Witch reached for her pipe, produced tobacco and a match, and silently started her ritual. Not until the pipe was drawing did she speak. "To answer: first, your comrades are both safe and successful. You, on the other hand, should be dead. But someone made a wish, that when your flesh was destroyed your soul would remain on this plane. That person was strong enough to weave a spell to recreate your body, so the soul would have a home. It's similar to what happened to Princess Sakura and her clone."
"A powerful wish," I said. "The price must have been terrible! But who would want such a thing?"
"Your king," answered Lady Witch. "Ashura."
That was nothing I expected, and I had to mull over the revelation for some minutes before I was able to speak. "And I am here because...?"
"That was my interference," she said. "Ashura's spell would have drawn you back to Celes. I believe it might have been a failsafe, in case something happened to you before you could kill him. But there is no longer a Celes for you to return to, and as I said I have need of a magician."
"For what purpose?" I asked.
Lady Witch's face grew quiet. "This world," she said, "is an anchor world. A keystone, if you will, one of the twelve worlds that bind all dimensions together. And it is ending. As we speak, seven angels and seven seals are battling to decide its fate; but whichever side wins, the fabric of this dimension is already tearing apart. Thousands of people are dying daily. I wish," she said, and her lips quirked at the words, "I wish to move the people of this world elsewhere."
"That's will take a great deal of magic," I said, "to move millions of people to another dimension. But ask why me?"
"You have the strength," said Lady Witch. "And there's a third person to help us, a sorceress of great power. I had rather hoped you would stay because of your fealty to her."
"Who?" I asked. She gestured to the door, and it slid open, and standing on the other side was Princess Sakura.
She was not our Princess Sakura, or even the other, the clone. She was older than the Sakura we knew, for one thing, but she had the same laughing green eyes. "Hello," she said, "you must be Fai."
She was not the Sakura we knew, but she was still my princess. Does that - do you understand? I thought you might. The Tomoyo in Piffle, she wasn't your Tomoyo, but in a way she was still your master, wasn't she? So of course I agreed, and that's all there is to it, really. Even as we speak, Lady Witch is holding open the door to the north of here and several others like it. This dimension is a mirror of Japan, so it's much easier to move between the two. Sakura-chan and I have been moving as many people through as possible; the only problem, of course, is that Amaterasu has placed an immigration limit on us because she fears for her own people. So we've been working covertly, but if Tsukuyomi will agree to lift the ban - we don't have much time left, anyway.
And that's how Fai became an interdimensional outlaw! Oh, the name, of course - Blue John is another name for fluorite. You should have done your research, Kuro-puu.
4.5 | opposition
Kurogane likes a number of things about Fai. He admires the other's sheer determination, he appreciates Fai's quick, sharp mind, he knows without a doubt that the man is nearly his equal in battle, and probably his superior when using magic.
Kurogane dislikes an equal number of things about Fai. He finds Fai's stubbornness maddening, hates that the other simply cannot lay his past to rest, despises the cheerful mask Fai wears to hide his true self and despises that sometimes that mask isn't quite so false. He doesn't secretly enjoy being called all those queer pet names, he cannot stand when Fai makes that stupid fake whistling noise, above all he hates how Fai is secretive and enigmatic -
Sometimes the man is just goddamned near inscrutable.
Kurogane himself is, doubtlessly, a pillar of virtue and clarity.
4.6 | what they say
"Huh," Kurogane says.
"An odd story, isn't it? Are you going to arrest me now?" The teasing is so natural, and Kurogane realizes this is Fai reborn, Fai unblemished and whole, Fai with purpose. This Fai is a sorcerer proper, not a vampire forced to feast on Kurogane's blood. (There had been an odd sort of intimacy to it, though, Fai's graceful neck bent to the underside of Kurogane's wrist, Fai's lips on Kurogane's skin - )
The teasing is natural, but the intimacy is missing. They're stilted and awkward in a way that has nothing to do with how they speak to each other and everything to do with the five feet of space between them as they sit. Kurogane has his duty and Fai has his duty but Kurogane does not have Fai and Fai does not have Kurogane.
"No," Kurogane says gruffly. "You're in official negotiations with Tsukuyomi. But if you know who attacked the castle - "
"I don't," Fai says, and there is real regret in his voice. "I have some information I could give you, but - "
"That's fine," Kurogane interrupts.
Something behind Fai's face deflates. "Of course," Fai says. "I suppose I should get back to Princess Tomoyo now. She thinks we can set up some camps on the southern islands."
"I ought to leave," Kurogane says helplessly. He feels like he's standing knee-deep in the ocean and an irresistible undercurrent is tugging his legs out from beneath him. "Souma needs - "
Fai nods and smiles brightly and Kurogane wants to hit him. Then Fai would hit back, of course, and maybe everything would be back to the way it was, and they would go talk to Tomoyo, they'd figure out who burned the castle, they'd find a place for all the refugees, and that evening they would go home together -
Fai's already at the door, though. "See you later, then, Kuro-chi," he says, and slips out of the room.
And then he's gone, again he's gone from Kurogane's life.
4.7 | what they don't say
Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.
- William Shakespeare
<< | >>
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