damalurbackup (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
damalurbackup) wrote2009-06-15 02:13 pm
damalurbackup) wrote2009-06-15 02:13 pm
Entry tags:
[fic] tbbt - paradox fiction friday responses
All Sheldon/Penny, all for the prompt future.
My Sister's Keeper. Crossover with Star Trek XI. McCoy, Penny, ~650 words.
::
Bones sighs. He hates these fancy-dress rigmaroles; Jim should hate them, too, but he gets off on the attention, as far as Bones can tell, and Spock always manages to find some dull, uptight group of scientists to trade stoic observations with. So Bones is mostly left guarding the buffet table himself, and by the time the evening ends he'll have a trail of crumbs down the front of his dress uniform and the urge to piss like a horse.
He catches a flash of bright blonde hair out of the corner of his eyes, and turns on a hope - it can't be - but it is. "Hey! Captain McCoy!" he shouts, and the prettiest commanding officer in Starfleet whirls around and beams at him.
"Len!" she says. "I didn't expect to see you here. I thought the Enterprise was still out patrolling the Neutral Zone."
"Nope," he drawls, and wraps one arm around her in a hug. "But I thought you were still off tangling with the Romulans. Jesus, I haven't seen you in person for..."
"Yeah," she says. She has a tiny fresh flower tucked in the stern upsweep of her hair; the effect is so Penny that Bones can't help but laugh. "How's Mom?"
Bones shrugs. "I haven't talked to her in a while. She hasn't been so great since..."
"Since Dad," Penny finishes, and they both lapse into silence. She leans into him, and Bones gives her a brief squeeze before letting her go. "Sorry," she says, "I didn't mean to..."
"It's fine," he says, and forces a smile. "How's that pocket calculator you've got for a first officer doing?"
"Commander Cooper?" she says. "Oh, you know Sheldon, some days he's tolerable and some days it's all I can do to not punch him in the throat." She clears her throat. "The rest of the crew is great, too, you know, Dr. Barnett got promoted recently, and my chief engineer has been collaborating with the Cardassians on a new project."
"Yeah?" Bones says. He's met Lieutenant Commander Wolowitz before. "Something big?"
She flushes. "It's, um...a toilet, actually. A really, really advanced...toilet."
Bones' lips twitch. "Christ on a cracker, Penny, it's no wonder you keep getting the ass-end assignments."
It doesn't hurt when she punches him, but he winces anyway; he figures it's his duty as a big brother. "Shut up," she says, "they aren't all bad."
"Sure they aren't. Sell me another one," Bones says. "You've got a bigger group of misfits than Jim, and he's a damn big misfit himself."
And then she looks away. "I proposed to Sheldon last week," she says.
"...What?"
"It's not like you didn't know it was coming!" she says.
Bones sighs. "Doesn't mean I'm ready to have him in the family. Alright, what'd he say?"
A slow, soul-deep smile spreads across her face. "He said he had 'anticipated my proposition, examined it from a variety of angles, and concluded that an affirmative outcome would benefit us both.'"
"That mean yes?" Bones asks, even though he already knows the answer. "You sure he doesn't have any Vulcan blood?"
"Mostly sure," Penny says. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
"Does he treat you well?" Bones asks; she nods, and he says, "Make you happy?"
"Len, I'd marry him just so we could argue properly," he says, and that sounds like his sister, so he gives her hair a tug.
"Yeah, I'm good with it," he says. "He's an obnoxious bastard, but you love him, and that's a point in his favor. When's the wedding?"
She gives him another friendly punch, this one with every bit of her childhood rodeo strength behind it, and his wince isn't completely an act. "Oh, you know," she says, "maybe the day the Romulans join the Federation."
"That," he says, and quaffs a glass of punch, "is a long engagement I can support."
Tomorrow Night. Crossover with Angel the series. Sheldon, Angel, ~300 words..
::
"She's cute," the dark-haired man said.
Sheldon frowned. Although he would not qualify Penny as such - 'cute' was an adjective that belonged to small animals, various distasteful adornments, and his Meemaw - the cast to her features as she examined and in turn discarded shoe after shoe was...endearing. "I suppose," he said, politely.
"No, I'm not...sorry, I'm not trying to seem like a creep," the man said; he seemed distinctly uneasy with the situation, yet he persisted in talked to Sheldon. "I'm Angel."
"Doctor Sheldon Cooper," Sheldon said.
"Are you together?"
Sheldon shifted. "I am accompanying her while she shops," he offered. "We'll be going to Radio Shack next, which I trust will be a far more fruitful enterprise than this."
"Oh, yeah," Angel said. He was a tall, broad man with a heavy forehead, the sort that Sheldon would have held in contempt during his teenage years. "I had a friend like that once. She was really into shoes, spent hours and hours hunting for the best buy..."
"Oh?" Sheldon asked.
"Yeah. She's...gone, now." The man shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded at Penny. "But she's pretty, isn't she? Cute, blonde, probably sweet. Don't let her go, alright?"
"I don't 'let' Penny do anything," Sheldon said. "If I tried to prevent her from doing as she wished, she would undoubtedly punch me in the throat."
Angel laughed. "That sounds about right," he said. "But tell her, okay? Just trust me."
There were a dozen responses that leapt to Sheldon's mind: Tell her what and You're nosy and But what if she doesn't -
Sheldon looked away; when he turned back, Angel was gone, melted into the crowd or the shadows. Sheldon frowned, sorting through his confusion and resentment, and considered leaving for Radio Shack alone -
(She's pretty. Don't let her go - )
Instead, he crossed to Penny and offered to carry her bags.
Champagne. Sheldon, Penny, ~450 words.
::
Midnight brings a fairy tale.
Penny knows she's buzzed from the champagne, and she knows he must be, too, because the tall, handsome man who wears a familiar face is behaving nothing like Sheldon Cooper. Sheldon Cooper would not lead her back to his hotel suite, and Sheldon Cooper would not slide the straps of her evening gown from her shoulders, and Sheldon Cooper would not kiss her open-mouthed and breathless. But Sheldon Cooper is doing all of those things, so he must be high from either the champagne or his Nobel Prize.
She's wanted him for longer than she cares to admit, but this - this is sudden and this is a dream and this makes her feel like the ground has dropped out from under her feet.
She closes her eyes and goes with it.
Sheldon skims his fingers down the nape of her neck. She arches back, steadies herself by planting a hand in the center of his chest; the fabric of his snowy shirtfront is rich beneath her fingers. A shiver rushes down her spine as Sheldon splays a hand across her lower back, and she tilts her head -
And says, "Sheldon, stop."
He freezes. "Penny, what - "
"What are we doing?" she asks.
Sheldon blinks. "I believe we were engaged in a convention known as 'foreplay,' which commonly precedes sexual congress - "
"Uh-huh," she says. "You talk like that to all the girls? No, don't answer that - " She cuts him off by laying a finger over his lips. "Sheldon, this isn't...this isn't us."
"I fail to understand - "
"Yeah, I kind of got that. What I mean is...this isn't you and me. The fancy clothes and the swanky hotel and the one-night fling - well, maybe that's me, but it's definitely not you - and I'm happy that you finally won your award, but - "
"Penny." The tone in which he says her name stops her dead in her tracks. "You seem to be misinformed as to my intentions - have I ever given you the impression that I would undertake an...affiliation of any sort without the utmost preparation and dedication?"
She can feel herself getting a little weepy - and that's definitely the champagne - but then he proves that he's not a pod person by adding, "I should think that you would be aware of the value of my DNA. As if I'd go around spreading my seed willy-nilly - the very thought is preposterous."
"Okay, Sheldon," she says, and laughs a little. "Okay."
My Sister's Keeper. Crossover with Star Trek XI. McCoy, Penny, ~650 words.
::
Bones sighs. He hates these fancy-dress rigmaroles; Jim should hate them, too, but he gets off on the attention, as far as Bones can tell, and Spock always manages to find some dull, uptight group of scientists to trade stoic observations with. So Bones is mostly left guarding the buffet table himself, and by the time the evening ends he'll have a trail of crumbs down the front of his dress uniform and the urge to piss like a horse.
He catches a flash of bright blonde hair out of the corner of his eyes, and turns on a hope - it can't be - but it is. "Hey! Captain McCoy!" he shouts, and the prettiest commanding officer in Starfleet whirls around and beams at him.
"Len!" she says. "I didn't expect to see you here. I thought the Enterprise was still out patrolling the Neutral Zone."
"Nope," he drawls, and wraps one arm around her in a hug. "But I thought you were still off tangling with the Romulans. Jesus, I haven't seen you in person for..."
"Yeah," she says. She has a tiny fresh flower tucked in the stern upsweep of her hair; the effect is so Penny that Bones can't help but laugh. "How's Mom?"
Bones shrugs. "I haven't talked to her in a while. She hasn't been so great since..."
"Since Dad," Penny finishes, and they both lapse into silence. She leans into him, and Bones gives her a brief squeeze before letting her go. "Sorry," she says, "I didn't mean to..."
"It's fine," he says, and forces a smile. "How's that pocket calculator you've got for a first officer doing?"
"Commander Cooper?" she says. "Oh, you know Sheldon, some days he's tolerable and some days it's all I can do to not punch him in the throat." She clears her throat. "The rest of the crew is great, too, you know, Dr. Barnett got promoted recently, and my chief engineer has been collaborating with the Cardassians on a new project."
"Yeah?" Bones says. He's met Lieutenant Commander Wolowitz before. "Something big?"
She flushes. "It's, um...a toilet, actually. A really, really advanced...toilet."
Bones' lips twitch. "Christ on a cracker, Penny, it's no wonder you keep getting the ass-end assignments."
It doesn't hurt when she punches him, but he winces anyway; he figures it's his duty as a big brother. "Shut up," she says, "they aren't all bad."
"Sure they aren't. Sell me another one," Bones says. "You've got a bigger group of misfits than Jim, and he's a damn big misfit himself."
And then she looks away. "I proposed to Sheldon last week," she says.
"...What?"
"It's not like you didn't know it was coming!" she says.
Bones sighs. "Doesn't mean I'm ready to have him in the family. Alright, what'd he say?"
A slow, soul-deep smile spreads across her face. "He said he had 'anticipated my proposition, examined it from a variety of angles, and concluded that an affirmative outcome would benefit us both.'"
"That mean yes?" Bones asks, even though he already knows the answer. "You sure he doesn't have any Vulcan blood?"
"Mostly sure," Penny says. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
"Does he treat you well?" Bones asks; she nods, and he says, "Make you happy?"
"Len, I'd marry him just so we could argue properly," he says, and that sounds like his sister, so he gives her hair a tug.
"Yeah, I'm good with it," he says. "He's an obnoxious bastard, but you love him, and that's a point in his favor. When's the wedding?"
She gives him another friendly punch, this one with every bit of her childhood rodeo strength behind it, and his wince isn't completely an act. "Oh, you know," she says, "maybe the day the Romulans join the Federation."
"That," he says, and quaffs a glass of punch, "is a long engagement I can support."
Tomorrow Night. Crossover with Angel the series. Sheldon, Angel, ~300 words..
::
"She's cute," the dark-haired man said.
Sheldon frowned. Although he would not qualify Penny as such - 'cute' was an adjective that belonged to small animals, various distasteful adornments, and his Meemaw - the cast to her features as she examined and in turn discarded shoe after shoe was...endearing. "I suppose," he said, politely.
"No, I'm not...sorry, I'm not trying to seem like a creep," the man said; he seemed distinctly uneasy with the situation, yet he persisted in talked to Sheldon. "I'm Angel."
"Doctor Sheldon Cooper," Sheldon said.
"Are you together?"
Sheldon shifted. "I am accompanying her while she shops," he offered. "We'll be going to Radio Shack next, which I trust will be a far more fruitful enterprise than this."
"Oh, yeah," Angel said. He was a tall, broad man with a heavy forehead, the sort that Sheldon would have held in contempt during his teenage years. "I had a friend like that once. She was really into shoes, spent hours and hours hunting for the best buy..."
"Oh?" Sheldon asked.
"Yeah. She's...gone, now." The man shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded at Penny. "But she's pretty, isn't she? Cute, blonde, probably sweet. Don't let her go, alright?"
"I don't 'let' Penny do anything," Sheldon said. "If I tried to prevent her from doing as she wished, she would undoubtedly punch me in the throat."
Angel laughed. "That sounds about right," he said. "But tell her, okay? Just trust me."
There were a dozen responses that leapt to Sheldon's mind: Tell her what and You're nosy and But what if she doesn't -
Sheldon looked away; when he turned back, Angel was gone, melted into the crowd or the shadows. Sheldon frowned, sorting through his confusion and resentment, and considered leaving for Radio Shack alone -
(She's pretty. Don't let her go - )
Instead, he crossed to Penny and offered to carry her bags.
Champagne. Sheldon, Penny, ~450 words.
::
Midnight brings a fairy tale.
Penny knows she's buzzed from the champagne, and she knows he must be, too, because the tall, handsome man who wears a familiar face is behaving nothing like Sheldon Cooper. Sheldon Cooper would not lead her back to his hotel suite, and Sheldon Cooper would not slide the straps of her evening gown from her shoulders, and Sheldon Cooper would not kiss her open-mouthed and breathless. But Sheldon Cooper is doing all of those things, so he must be high from either the champagne or his Nobel Prize.
She's wanted him for longer than she cares to admit, but this - this is sudden and this is a dream and this makes her feel like the ground has dropped out from under her feet.
She closes her eyes and goes with it.
Sheldon skims his fingers down the nape of her neck. She arches back, steadies herself by planting a hand in the center of his chest; the fabric of his snowy shirtfront is rich beneath her fingers. A shiver rushes down her spine as Sheldon splays a hand across her lower back, and she tilts her head -
And says, "Sheldon, stop."
He freezes. "Penny, what - "
"What are we doing?" she asks.
Sheldon blinks. "I believe we were engaged in a convention known as 'foreplay,' which commonly precedes sexual congress - "
"Uh-huh," she says. "You talk like that to all the girls? No, don't answer that - " She cuts him off by laying a finger over his lips. "Sheldon, this isn't...this isn't us."
"I fail to understand - "
"Yeah, I kind of got that. What I mean is...this isn't you and me. The fancy clothes and the swanky hotel and the one-night fling - well, maybe that's me, but it's definitely not you - and I'm happy that you finally won your award, but - "
"Penny." The tone in which he says her name stops her dead in her tracks. "You seem to be misinformed as to my intentions - have I ever given you the impression that I would undertake an...affiliation of any sort without the utmost preparation and dedication?"
She can feel herself getting a little weepy - and that's definitely the champagne - but then he proves that he's not a pod person by adding, "I should think that you would be aware of the value of my DNA. As if I'd go around spreading my seed willy-nilly - the very thought is preposterous."
"Okay, Sheldon," she says, and laughs a little. "Okay."
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